So,
you're in college. In theory, you are going there to get an education. In
reality, you are also interested in having a social life. Besides, you will
have all kinds of single people around your age as potential friends. With all
of that, why is college dating so challenging? Let's look at some possible
answers to this important question.
Not
to sound trite, but college students are going through a major transition to
total independence and adulthood. That alone is a huge challenge. Plus,
expectations are higher from the students themselves, others around them, as
well as what's expected academically. While some college students are
teenagers, they are also adults by most measures. On top of all of this,
college students are away from long-held relationships they have formed.
Family, team mates, friends, acquaintances and girlfriends and boyfriends are
usually left behind once the student is in college.
Just
how daunting is it to deal with these personal, physical, emotional and
academic changes? College can be quite intimidating, especially for students
who are attending school far from home. Moving not only means the loss of
relationships, but also leaving behind their usual emotional support system,
whether family, friends or place of worship. All of these new expectations and
experiences only make college dating more complicated. Add to that the fact
that almost everybody at any given college come from different backgrounds.
That results in there being less common ground on which to connect with and
build upon.
One
thing to keep in mind about dating in college is to not approach it in an
overly-serious manner. There is already more than enough serious things to deal
with for any college student, dating doesn't have to be another. Now, that's
not saying you shouldn't date at all, or avoid any sort of romance. That's not
the point.
Instead,
try to focus on the enjoyment of getting to other people. Take the emphasis off
of finding a serious relationship, and just try to make friends. Think of it as
another way to share the experience of college with someone else. You may want
to try dating those in the same classes as you, as there will be some level of
shared common interest. This will also help to keep your comfort level in
check, and make it feel a lot less challenging.
There
is no reason why college dating has to be hard if you know the best way to
approach it. All new college students will face new challenges, but dating
doesn't have to be one of them. Go into it with the right attitude, without
putting pressure on you or your date for anything too serious. However, if
things go well, then by all means continue to let things progress naturally.
Many people have met their current spouses when they were in college. If it
happens, that's great! But don't go out on dates with the thought of finding a
marriage partner. Just enjoy being with somebody and let things happen as they
may.
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